Unprofessional Blabbing #2

I have been taught countless times that, if you fall, you should fall on your back shoulder. People probably found it important that I knew because the combination of my lack of grace and my wimpy body meant that I was highly prone to injury.

However, falling correctly is pretty damn hard.

Before I even realized I was falling I was already on the ground.

Then I felt the sidewalk carve itself into my wrist, and that was that.

Unprofessional Blabbing #1

I am at that point in life just beyond the juvenile need to broadcast everything about anything (see: twitter), but not yet mature enough to not want to do it.

I literally just caught myself about to update my Facebook status with "is sad".

Minutes later I caught myself, in an attempt to be a pseudo-intellectual, trying to point out the futility of resolving negative emotions by broadcasting them to a network of people who will judge you for it.

If I could time travel, the first thing I would do is slap myself from five minutes ago. Then I would wait around for two minutes to slap myself again.

Then I'd probably shoot Hitler or something later. But priorities are priorities.