1. Wait until I die, then fight a cannibal to the death for it.
2. Kill me, then fight a cannibal to the death for it.
3. Buy it from an illegal organ dealer.
4. Win it in a poker game with an illegal organ dealer.
5. Bake a fresh plate of chocolate chip cookies and trade them to me in exchange for it.
6. Devise an elaborate rouse in order to fool me into thinking some poor helpless something-or-other was dying and needed my heart to survive, then steal it when I rip it out of my chest.
7. Laugh when I tell an awful joke, and nobody else will.
8. Save me from an awkward situation.
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